Right on Schedule

Journal: November 26, 2022

I started this personal blog, in part, to develop a regular writing routine. So, here I am, 25 days later, and I've posted 2 journal entries and I'm still revising the first article. You know, the one I said I was going to publish 3 weeks ago. What does all this mean? It means I'm right on schedule...for me.

As happens every time I attempt it, NaNoWriMo was a bust. An epic fail, as the kids say. (Do the kids still say that?) For some reason I can not get myself to stick to the NaNo routine. And yet, I sign up for it every year. Either I am addicted to failure or I'm the eternal optimist hoping that maybe this year will be different.

I haven't been making any progress elsewhere, but there's no reason I can't continue the journal entries. So here goes...

I debated whether I should put this out on the big, scary internet but considering no one is actually reading this anyway, I guess it can't hurt. Besides, it feels dishonest not to share...this is a personal blog, after all. The truth is this weekend was my first Thanksgiving without my mom. She passed away in April after suffering a couple of strokes in the preceding months. We had a lovely Thanksgiving meal, thanks to my sister-in-law and niece. And my dad seemed to get through it well. But, it wasn't the same because, of course, it couldn't possibly be the same. It never will be. My job now is to figure out the new normal. 

The new Thanksgiving normal. Followed by the new Christmas normal. And then there's New Years, the anniversary of the first stroke.

I wish I had some wise words to share. Shouldn't I have learned some truth over the last 11 months? Something meaningful that I can share with you now? I guess that only happens in Hallmark movies. But, I do know one thing. I know I'll make it through. I know the rest of my family will make it through. We're strong. Because my mom raised us to be strong.  And we'll be happy because my mom would want us to be happy. It was hard this Thanksgiving but it was supposed to be hard. It's supposed to be hard to lose your mom. I'm right on schedule.

Sorry for the maudlin post. Please, believe me when I tell you that I'm not usually like that. I will endeavor to do better in the future. Happy Thanksgiving! ❤